its just me suffering :(

im so tired of my daily routine, i want to work for something new but how?i always have this feeling in my chest every time lyle goes out. im scared that he might fool me again, im scared because i cant trust him that much, i cant trust no one. every person that surrounds me is a total stranger. and im also a total jerk writing this non sense thing with zero reader :( whew! im planning to make a devil chocolate for our first anniversary :o hope he'll like it