so glad bout that

im so glad about the plans made by the grandpa of lyle which is hanging toward the future. go to Australia and continue our schooling there and after that make all our dreams come true.. how i wish it will all happen :'(

new day for us;another suffering

i woke up with numb hands, i cant move my hands. i thought i was talking to lyle but i didn't. maybe because i was tired the other day doing all the laundry. liver adobo for lunch and i preserved santol for lyle because he requested for it.

my head is aching to much, am i having migraine again?! dang it....!! i wish i could find a job to earn money for lyle's operation..when will this suffering come to an end? im a bit tired today, i want to eat blue berry cheesecake in don hen but i dont have much money for this day. i bought 2 dresses in the street. they were so cute, i got them in low prices. :D love it..

its just me suffering :(

im so tired of my daily routine, i want to work for something new but how?i always have this feeling in my chest every time lyle goes out. im scared that he might fool me again, im scared because i cant trust him that much, i cant trust no one. every person that surrounds me is a total stranger. and im also a total jerk writing this non sense thing with zero reader :( whew! im planning to make a devil chocolate for our first anniversary :o hope he'll like it

nightmare

i cant help but thinking about the past. it makes me feel so crazy and every time i try to hide i still feel the pain eating me inside. dang it !! in every angle of my life im still the looser poor me girl. hate my life i really hate my life. i wish i just vanish in this world, why cant he trust me or is he hiding something again.

my goal:
i will just let him do what he wants to do even if it might hurts :'(

what should i do?

lyle was confined in the hospital because of his t tonsillitis and ulcer. i cant bear seeing him suffering from those needles and medications. another confinement will lead him to an operation :'( i dont want to see that day. i want to spend my whole life with him despite of all those miseries and foolishness and troubles he gave to me. i still love him so much,i hope god would help him survive his illness :(

miserable

i almost quit my life when i knew that my bf fooled me and had an affair with her half sister which is so ridiculous and no decency. i dunno what to do and how to manage this anger. we lost our baby because of that bitch who keeps on toggling with my bf. im so depressed and thats what happened. im so alone and no one helped me about it because i never told anybody about it.

months have passed and we fixed our relationship but still the feeling of being fooled was never out on me. terrible isnt it? how can you forgive someone who made your life miserable and responsible for the lost of your child. i miss my baby :(

Just got started

Today is fathers day. i just thought of filling out this blog like others do. im manniecel montano geminiano 20 years of age and currently living with my boyfriend (or should i say fiance?) and his grand parents. i cooked baked mac and garlic bread for lunch and later pizza for snack.
im not expecting for other bloggers to read my blog  or any i just want to express my thoughts.

yeah, today is fathers. :( so sad i cant even greet my own father, i dont want to see them or anyone in my family. my mom hates me so much and i dont know why, she always blame me for all the failures in our family. anyway, my dad is a soldier and my mom is a retired teacher i have two siblings. both male, my older bro is also a soldier preparing for their future with his bitch girlfriend, im second and our baby brother is in 2nd year highschool this year who is such a bully. i hate that kid, though i miss him some how.

well back to my story, i flew away from our house to forget those miseries and be happy with the love of my life.

watch for my next post, there's more to blog about :D